Christmas Spirit

I had a really hard time this year getting into the "Christmas Spirit."  At first I attributed it to not having enough of my Christmas list checked off as I wanted before putting up the decorations.  Then I decided it was because in years past during the Christmas season I've worked with kids and they are a constant reminder of all things Santa.  I'm at home most of the day, almost every day with no one wishing me "Merry Christmas."  So Evan bought me my favorite Christmas CD, Christmas Portraits by the Carpenters.  I listened to that for almost 3 days straight and it helped.  But something was still off.  I didn't figure out what it really was until Christmas when I had a sudden feeling of relief.

I was worried about what people would think about me.  I didn't realize I cared that much about people's opinions of me until now.  I had off handily mentioned to Evan while we were browsing around a store one date night that I've always wanted a dSLR camera.  Well then I kept seeing Evan researching cameras on the internet and asking strangers we saw about their cameras.  I told him he shouldn't get me one,  because we couldn't  shouldn't afford it.  He played it off like, "yeah I know, but I just want to research the cameras so that when we do buy one I'll know what kind to get."  However whenever I tried to talk to him about a budget for Christmas he avoided the issue.  So I knew his number was going to be much higher than I was going to spend on him.  I was fairly certain Evan was going to buy me a very obviously expensive gift for Christmas.  What would people think when they found out that a "poor" residents wife got such an expensive gift?  What would they think of me?  Yup this is what I was so worried about.  This is why I was such a scrooge/grinch this Christmas season.

Well Christmas morning came and sure enough Evan had bought me a dSLR camera.  The first words out of my mouth were not "thank you" not "Wow! I've always wanted one of these."  They were, "you shouldn't have."  Then apparently I had a look of concern on my face (I've been told I need to work on my facial expressions-but that is another story), because then Evan said to me, "you're not worried about the money are you?"  So not only was I feeling bad because *gasp* what would people think, but now I made my husband feel bad because I wasn't grateful for his thoughtful gift.  After the presents were all opened I felt better.  Almost instant relief.  The Christmas spirit was back.  It was out in the open that my husband spoiled me.  

I decided that I wasn't going to let the opinions of others bother me.  I LOVED my gift.  Evan loved my gift and was excited for me.  I don't have to explain my finances to others or make excuses as to why a resident's wife has such a nice camera like, "well he got it on sale" or "this is a Christmas gift for the next 4 Christmases" (which you know is never true).  I have made it a point not to ask Evan how much he spent, because it doesn't matter.  I'm grateful for the laborious research Evan did and how he picked up on a "hint."  I'm very excited for some higher quality photos of my family.

THE FIRST PHOTO I TOOK WITH MY CAMERA!

Below a photo shoot with my not so willing, but still adorable, nephew REX.